People sometimes assume Christians believe in the face of rational thinking. For some, that may be true. But I find that my gut instinct is to disbelieve and only by reviewing rationally what I have discovered to be true do I believe. A simple experiment proves it for me. When I look at this picture, my instinct says that when I fly home tonight, Bob will meet me at the airport as he often did.
But the rational, logical, controlled portion of my mind tells me that he won’t be there. I live maybe 90% of my life the same as any agnostic. It’s only when I make a special effort that I am confronted with the truth. It isn’t that I haven’t thought about the evidence that I believe. Rather, it’s because I haven’t internalized the evidence enough that I often doubt.
I have no answers for my son today. I’ll be leaving for Virginia for at least a week and my biggest worry is that he needs a father’s embrace right now. He loves his uncle and I don’t think he really believes Bob is gone. Most of the time, I don’t either.